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Common Mistakes Made During a Divorce

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Going through a divorce can be an immensely stressful experience. Everything about your daily life suddenly changes, and at the same time, you’re required to make important decisions about your and your children’s futures. Enlist your attorney’s help in avoiding several common mistakes which can have a big impact on your life after the divorce is final.

  • Your children feel forced to choose between you and your spouse

Children feel the effects of a divorce more acutely than it may appear. In the midst of heated emotions and anger toward your ex, it can be tempting to talk about that person in derogatory terms with your kids, or to seek reassurance that they prefer you to their other parent. Putting your children in this position can be very harmful to them, and can even put your relationship with them in peril. Set the tone of civility between you and your co-parent early in your separation.

  • You neglected to consider non-traditional dispute resolution options

Over the past several years, an increasing number of couples have begun using alternatives to court in order to reach a divorce settlement, such as mediation or arbitration. Using a private mediator or arbitrator can allow you greater flexibility and informality, and can lead to a faster resolution of your divorce case. That informality and speed can also result in lower attorneys’ fees.

  • You’re in such a hurry to be done that you’ve forfeited many things that are important to you

While reaching a speedy conclusion is important to any litigant, smart parties to a case understand that sometimes good results require time and patience. You may be ready to give up on a number of important issues in order to get it all over with and not have to regularly see the person who broke your heart anymore. Remember that, in the long run, you’ll thank yourself for spending a bit more time and effort to obtain a good result on the issues that are most important to you.

  • You’re so angry at your spouse that you’ve fought about every last issue

Pride and anger hold immense potential to make your divorce longer, harder and more expensive than it needs to be. Alongside your attorney, create a list of issues that are most important to you, and avoid fighting over smaller issues, such as household possessions or small sums of money. If you are in a high-conflict divorce, it may be better to lose some battles but win the war.

If you need compassionate, knowledgeable representation in your New Jersey divorce, contact the law offices of Herbert & Weiss for a consultation, at 201-440-6300 in Englewood.

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