Infidelity in a marriage is one of the most heartbreaking experiences anyone can go through. Oftentimes, when the infidelity comes to light, it has been going on for much longer than the spouse who is getting cheated on could imagine. Beyond just having a funny feeling that something is off with your marriage, there are some distinct signs to look out for if you fear infidelity is at play. Here are some of the major behaviors and indicators you should look out for if you suspect your partner is cheating on you.
1. Improved Appearance
If your partner has suddenly taken a stronger interest in their appearance, this may be an indication they’re trying to impress somebody else. Some signs to look for include constant upkeep of their appearance, a sudden hairstyle change, or a sudden fixation with going to the gym. A more specific red flag is if your partner begins paying close attention to their underwear and opting for more stylish or attractive pairs as opposed to what they would normally purchase.
2. Sudden Hobbies or Interests
If a spouse suddenly begins to develop interests or hobbies that they would have otherwise not cared for, this could be a red flag in your marriage. Oftentimes, a cheating spouse will feel like they are in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship, and with that comes the desire to learn about the interests and hobbies of the person they are cheating with. You should especially pay attention to your spouse’s behavior if they don’t let you participate or engage in the hobbies and activities that they are taking an interest in.
3. Secretive Electronic Use
One of the early indications of marital issues is secretive electronic use. If your spouse is cheating on you, then they’ll begin to be more discrete with the way they use their computer and cell phone around you. Red flags include sudden changes to passcodes and passwords so that you can’t access their electronic devices.
It can also be concerning if you suddenly notice that your spouse takes their phone everywhere with them. If your spouse is constantly texting without any logical or fruitful explanation as to who or why, this should give you pause for concern.
4. Changes in Your Sex Life
Changes in your sex life can take different forms. For example, you may notice that your spouse is either overly sexual with you or withdraws from sexual intimacy with you entirely. A spouse that is suddenly overly affectionate in the bedroom could be trying to compensate for their infidelity by showing you the love that they know should be directed towards you. Additionally, another cause for concern is if your partner suddenly wants to try different sexual activities with you or behaves in a manner that is unlike themselves when it comes to sexual intimacy.
5. They Blame You And/or the Relationship
Oftentimes, a cheating spouse will try to blame their partner and/or the relationship as a way to justify their cheating. The blame game varies and can cover anything from personal attacks to more arbitrary accusations. Commonly, a cheating spouse will never take responsibility for their actions in a marriage and will instead deflect blame on their partner or the relationship. Simple disagreements might quickly turn into heated arguments. It is common for a cheating spouse to say harsh or unjustified accusations during these types of arguments as well. In addition to deflecting blame because of their infidelity, a cheating spouse may see this as an opportunity to vent their anger as they know their actions are wrong.
6. Changes in Their Schedule and Normal Routine
If you notice a sudden change in your partner’s schedule or normal routine, this could be a red flag. For example, if your partner is suddenly staying late for work longer than usual or more frequently, this might be cause for concern. Some cheating spouses may also go out earlier or stay out later and share very little information about where they are going during these times. To accommodate the person they are cheating with, a cheating spouse will begin to alter their normal schedule or routine to make that space for them.
7. Tension Between You and Their Friends
Often, the person who is being cheated on is usually the last to know there is infidelity in the marriage. It’s quite common for a cheating spouse to share their infidelity with a close friend or even a group of friends. If you begin to notice that your spouse’s friends are behaving awkwardly around you, this may be a sign that your spouse has confessed their infidelity to them. In many friendship dynamics, friends who know that there is infidelity going on in a marriage will not disclose the information to the spouse who is being cheated on. Instead, you may notice weird glances your way or awkward conversation. These odd interactions can be heightened if you and your spouse are hanging out with your friends in a group setting.
8. Money Issues
Issues with money are another factor that will come into play if your spouse is cheating on you. If you begin to notice unexplained charges or missing sums of money from your financial accounts, this could be an indication of infidelity at play. It’s really difficult for a spouse to hide expenses from their significant other, especially if the couple shares their finances. Some spouses may try to conceal their financial activity by pulling out large sums of money so that the other partner doesn’t see where it is spent. You may also begin to notice weird charges at locations, restaurants, or stores that you don’t typically frequent as a couple.
Get the Guidance You Deserve
Finding out that there is infidelity in your marriage can be a complicated and difficult experience to navigate through. Knowing the signs is the first step in moving forward, however. While every marriage is unique, having the right guidance by your side will allow you to determine what is best for you and your family. Reach out to one of our experienced Englewood family law attorneys today to discuss your options if you’ve been a victim of infidelity.